Best Gifts to gift yourself on your Birthday.

So Birthday is done, Birthday month is done, another year is done and another year of introspection is done. 
I feel quite productive, if I may say so myself (grinning cheekily).
As you guessed from the pic , I had an amazing birthday, I love gifts who doesn’t. 
Talking about gifts I used to invite more friends for my birthday party so I could get more gifts. The feeling of unwrapping pretty colorful presents to find a surprise waiting in there. Some good, some amazing, some OK and some disappointing but nevertheless all are always exciting. 
Honestly,  I use to be eager for my guests to leave so that I could get to my gifts, I still do so (now you know, so urge me to open my gift you always get me, so that I am not wanting you to head over for the door in my head). 

Birthdays always do that to me, I cherish them mine or others and I love that feeling of being special, being cherished. By gestures, love, kindness, gifts. Don’t forget the gifts, I won’t let you (laughing to myself). 

However, as you grow older you need to be are expected to be a bit more mature about your own Birthday. 

Now, that’s one thing about life, when you are a kid, your parents pamper you with gifts, additional love and attention, party with friends- home made Pav Bhaji, or Vadas, chips, pastries and you are made to feel like a star. But as your age increases  and your cuteness decreases along with that - the need to celebrate an individual or is it how they put it, the desire to celebrate your own birthday and all that attention no longer entices one. 

So what they really mean is after enticing you all those years with parties, gifts celebrations they want you to relinquish it all. After tasting self accolade and love the society wants you to give it all away for the bigger picture over here it’s actually you bigger in the picture... 

After years of being celebrated how does one go un - celebratory, if that even makes sense? Why am I supposed to go all monk from monster (monkey would be better) on my birthday ? No offence but I don’t want to be a Monk on my birthday. 

Now I didn’t know that celebrating oneself, my own life was supposed to be a bit immature. 

Well I love to celebrate myself, the day I came in this beautiful universe, the person I am, blessed and loved, I forgot lucky too. 

I am in my 30’s and I still love to celebrate my birthday, I am still far away from being a monk, birthday still entices me and the rate at which I am going, I am sure I would jolly well be enticed by the same even in my ripe old age. 

Celebrations do change, that I will give you. Cute and pretty gifts are always wonderful. 

In the long run though - Love, relationships, family, friendships will definitely hold your fort. 

I definitely love to gift myself more of these things below and then some more for birthday and for life. 

Indulge

Indulge the kid within you, do what you love, have what you love. Go for that big customized chocolate cake, surprise yourself. Have that bucket of fried chicken or cheese and champagne. Gift yourself a lovely candlelight dinner and plush night. 

In short sometimes you can have your cake, cut it and eat it too... 

Love 

Let love in your life, love yourself unconditionally and let others love you. No one can love you more than your own.  Love makes everything worthwhile, it adds meaning to life, to being. 

Cherish 

Cherish your family and loved ones, spend quality time with them, take breaks, go for holidays, talk, eat together, make amends, go that extra mile. It’s these moments, that you will cherish forever, these are the best gifts to give yourself. These are the people who will always matter the most. 

Let go

Let go, life is short; don’t be too hard on yourself. Let go of what you can’t change, what is poisonous, what is unhealthy, what doesn’t give you happiness, that which has served its purpose in your life. Let go off these toxic habits, things, feelings, relations and see yourself soaring higher, lighter, happier. 

(Don’t confuse yourself between cherishing and letting go, I ain’t contradicting myself. There are few things, people, relations which are beloved and which we give our all but which are toxic for our growth, we need to understand the difference. Make a choice for your growth and act on it, without guilt.) 

Let go off your Guilt 

Letting go of the guilt - that you are/were not good enough. You didn’t do your best. 
You tried- you failed- accept that and let go of the guilt weighing you down. 
Learn your lesson and move on. 

Change is the only constant 

Uncertainty is certain, so brave it on, you will surprise yourself with your capability. 

Keep changing, keep evolving, keep updating yourself in all walks of life - survival of the fittest you see. 

Health

And on that last note, being fit and healthy is akin to survival and a good life. To enjoy the pleasures, you need to sweat it out. Exercise, eat healthy, have a disciplined life in some sense. The fitter you are the more birthdays you will celebrate eating cake your way. 

Meditate 

Cleansing your mind is of utmost importance, mental health is as important as physical. You want to remember your party people and stay sane till your last birthday now, don’t you? 

Kindness 

Be kind to yourself first, be gentle on yourself. 
Don’t blame yourself for everything that goes wrong and don’t be too hard on yourself. 

Be kind to Others, help those in need - a loving gesture goes a long way. Kindness always comes back. 

Believe 

Believe in yourself. If you will then others will. 
Believe and you will do wonders. Believe in the universe, the greater force. Have hope and faith always. 

Attitude 

Have a right attitude cause it’s all about the attitude. 
The glass is half empty or full only you decide, the same way your life is beautiful or no only you decide. 
Look for good in everything and you will see it. 

Friends 

You need your chosen family, the crazy ones to make this ride worthwhile. To throw you that birthday party every year. The people who have your vibe, keep them close. They will always be there for you, they are your tribe.  

Enjoy your own company 

Enjoy your solitude, your own self. 

Get to know yourself, fall in love with yourself, romance yourself. The longest and most stable relationship you will ever have - you - invest in it totally. Invest in yourself. 

Read

Read a lot of books, weave a lot of stories in your mind. 
Books are your best friends, they will take you around in their world. 
They will enrich you like nothing ever will with their treasure troves. 

Podcasts are the new favorite books, not mine really though but as I said you should stay updated. 

Gift Experiences 

The trip you wanted to take, that class you wanted to join, the mountain you always wanted to scale. Do that.

Experiences make you feel better than materialistic pleasures. You will always cherish the memories. 

Learn 

Be a student of life forever. In whatever field, way, thing, experience you want - educate your self. 

Happiness 

Be happy. Happiness is not a destination, it’s the journey. So don't wait for it, make it happen. It’s work in progress, chose to be happy every day and see the joy it brings in life. #smallthingsbigsmiles 

Grateful 

Be grateful for yourself, this life, all that you have, all that you are. Celebrate it aka celebrate yourself- celebrate your  Birthday 🥳🎂🧁🎊🎁🎉 

—- point proved —-  laughing happily, as if I need a reason... 

No pressure but you better celebrate with me cause this one will leave old and with a grand big one. 

xoxo
Bhakti

Beach Picnic With A Traitor Tea, Tantrums And Toxic Beach Bums

I am a 90’s kid, I grew up not on gadgets all together barring the video games and computer games like Prince, age of empire and the likes which came later on. Oh and those hi tech toys we didn’t have so many of them. Childhood meant, playing naturally in the nature, going for picnics with family, reading the likes of Enid Blyton and the perfect picnics and adventures, improvised games. Fast food whipped up wholesomely from mummas kitchen. Childhood was a bliss. So no wonder I am big on nature and outings -Oh I love picnics, being in the natural elements and just enjoying them, feeling the raw emotions. Unfiltered joy, unfiltered surroundings. Of laying down a picnic mat, getting out the goodies and then just lazying around enjoying the bounty of nature. 

So I just did that on one of the weekend, headed to the nearby beach. 

This was my first beach picnic to be arranged on my own (batting the resort ones we all experience and set our standards high) now whenever I picture a beach picnic in my mind, it’s the most romantic set up, with beach umbrella, mat, some nibbles and perfect drinks. Taking leisurely dips in the sea and then lounging on the mat, looking at the sky above, hearing the waves crash, smelling the sea. Reading a book and the day just goes by .. sounds perfect, doesn’t it ? Perfect date, perfect picnic (told you high resort standards).

We being in Chennai, couldn’t do the dip or swim in the sea. Didn’t want to go too far after a tiring busy week. 

Neither could I take some fancy drinks nor could I be on the beach the entire day in the crazy sun and humid weather. 

So well equipped with all this knowledge I prepared myself with a small picnic basket - containing a cute colourful mat, hot thermos of tea (hubby’s drink of choice) some cookies, chips, water and other small paraphernalia and bingo we were ready to roll. A picnic at sun down sounded the best and practical given the weather conditions. 

We decided to head to a far off beach, less crowded and less known. 

All happy and satisfied with the pre picnic work we reached the sight and our first observation was aren’t the vendors increased in number at the entrance (there were just two stalls on bicycles run by home ladies). Were we right not only had the vendors increased the beach visitors had too, it was really crowded. Too late to turn back or go anywhere else.

We started walking towards a place which was a bit less crowded and settled there with our mat and laid down all the works. There were quite a few couples.

As soon as we settled, a family with a group of kids came and decided they wanted to be our neighbours, their picnic paraphernalia was fancier than ours as it had loads of sand toys and works. 

As we sat taking in the sea and the beach activities, the beach was dirtier owing to the crowd (when will people realise ) nevertheless beautiful and so peaceful. 

The peace part quickly shattered to pieces as we were still discussing it amongst ourself - a shrill scream which doubled and then went on in a full bout of tantrums on our right. 

A little time into their play and half built castles the kids had decided to wreck havoc on the serenity and others calm whilst their parents ignored them and continued with their own little banter happily or should I say calmly to the chagrin of others. 

As I was cribbing about the parents and their lack of enthusiasm of minding their kids to my hubby another group of localite gentlemen without any gentle demeanour or clothing sense parked themselves on our left a little distance further away. They ran in the sea as if their whole being was on fire and then crash landed in the massive waves. 

Such outrageous behaviour by these aged men who were sloshed and had boys with them fit to be their kids equally sloshed. 

I don’t understand how they insult them selves, their upbringing, their culture. Without even giving it a second thought that people who come their as guests or travellers take this behaviour as to be the mannerism and culture of that place. Due to such people who cause inconvenience to others and show lack of etiquette, the entire place gets bad named. This sad state exists in all pockets of our country which we need to be ashamed of and changed. Be it the hooligans or the uncaring parents. Don’t let your manners, lack of them or enjoyment disrupt others joy. We need to take this into consideration while having a good time in public places. 

One of the kids out of nowhere landed near this group of men and that was the time when the parents shouted for the girl finally. In her plight to run towards her parents she showered us with all the sand. 

Some romantic date - reminded me of a song- jaana tha Japan pahunch gaye Chin (had to visit Japan but we landed in China ) samajh gaye na.

Oh well, didn’t need another cue we got up as fast as we could, collected the neatly laid picnic and ran for our life further away. 

Found another spot next to an old couple which we deemed safe in all attributes and settled nicely. Oh, the comfort of the old (pun very much intended ).

Happily we gazed at the sea again and I decided it was time for some tea to relax and lay back after that experience. 

I poured in some tea and sat with my feet digging deep in the cool sand. 

Took a sip and well the tea was tasteless, yeah I made it, the same way as usual but god knew what went wrong. Alas, Tea - the traitor, it also decided to act funny in the literal words. Well I was not going to give up so easily. 

We just took a few sips and enjoyed the sea and each other’s company. 

That moment was perfect inspite of all imperfections - just gazing at the setting sunset and waves crashing, a cool wind caressing our face and hands intertwined leaving the tea and everything else aside. It was still a perfect romantic picnic. 

There were the crashing waves, the sky with its magical hues, the calming music of the sea, the soothing sand, us hand in hand, there were couples, families with children and elders, friends, there were dogs playing on the beach, few crows flying down to pick up some dead fish, crabs scuttling in their holes, a gentle breeze bringing with it the sea smells.

We just sat there taking it all in and our hearts joined in all this din. 

We didn’t get our sea swim but nevertheless how could we let go off playing in the waves and that’s what we did. 

I love to run away from the waves and then eventually one naughty wave catches up with me. The water lapping on the feet leaving foot prints behind for the waves again to erase it.. 

As the sun set and it got dark we packed our picnic with a joyous heart. 

Walking in the sand, hand in hand - happy hearts singing to the tune of some young romantic band... 

it’s not about perfect moments or romance it’s about finding love in all the moments, it’s about making the most of what you have. It’s all about romanticising the simple life. 

And just like that it was a perfect picnic .... 

Finding perfection in all the imperfections you have..

one snap does not tell the whole story of what goes behind, that’s what happens on social media these days. So don’t judge a picture on its face value. Don’t have the pressure of living big dreams and perfect bucket lists. Just go with the flow, life happens in the small moments .. Happiness is not a destination it’s this random journey through crazy sloshed gentlemen, tantrum throwing kids and old people ... you just need to hold on to each other, your sanity and find those moments in between and live them - that’s happiness ..

xoxo
Bhakti 

A Haunting Beautiful Date

As I researched and researched and scratched my brains to visit a place which was nearby yet far from the city chaos and traffic on the weekend. Well that's our thing, we like quaint places which are not crowded, throw in some nature and I am a happy bunny my friends.
I came across one that fit all the bills and ticked all the boxes right.
Now I have this thing for taking hubby on surprise dates, well I would like to believe that I am more of a romantic adventurous types in some aspects among both of us. To say the least I throw caution  to the wind and still have my carefree attitude whereas hubby how do I say is the more cautioned more grounded, practical, safe one, if that makes sense to you. He is the one who is the safety net i return to, the one who takes all the blows and hard hits and surprises whilst wondering what next is in store. I am thankful to God in so many ways and instances that he is, for God knows where we would be if it wasn't for his stickler ways once in a blue moon.
So I took him on a surprise date, after about an hours drive, we reached the Besant Nagar beach popularly known as the Elliots beach. From there on I started the Google map as there was a diversion. The path that we landed on or ended on was a bit dicey. Albeit, no proper roads, houses of local fisherman lined up in a row, no cars, very narrow path, kids playing without a worry, the ladies engrossed in their daily banter or just sitting outside their houses, boats parked after a day of some hard core work and no tell a tale sign of any visitors or other people.
It looked like a secluded and empty road leading to nothingness. A small fishing hamlet tucked away in the further most corner of the city.
With that view and us looking like an only car with another state number plate which believe me is not a welcome sign to any locals. We were the ones encroaching according to hubby and we shouldn't be there, either I had lost my way or like always I had thrown caution to the wind for too soon for an adventure to begin were the voices I heard in the car. That was not my voice however it sure did join the party for I started doubting myself was that really right and am I the irresponsible, irrevocably wild one in the car and was going to give up my chance to explore and be in nature. How my heart loves those two words unconditionally but sometimes you have to let it go for your own safety as well peace of mind, was this going to be one of those time when I gave in to settle for another cup of coffee in a pretty city cafe. I don't have anything against pretty little cafes I adore them but how can you compare them with a wild sunset waiting to be experienced and to bathe you in its golden light from head to toe all the way to your soul. When to my great relief a car was approaching in our direction from the other side and which didn't look like it belonged to a fisherman. I pointed it out excitedly to hubby without saying anything and trying to maintain my confidence and there he looked unconvinced still. Well, he is a tough nut to crack. What followed was a trail of vehicles, cars, couples, friends coming or in this case going from this place to the husband's dismay and my visible gay. A hesitant husband still not completely convinced started driving towards the destination.
As usual we were late due to the traffic, I wanted to take hubby for a sunset date here but thanks to his always questioning nature and arguing streak we wasted quite a lot of time on contemplating to take the road or no. But as soon as we took the road, it lead us to a series of surprises, of stone doors leading nowhere, of pretty stone benches located, bushes, sand beach on one side. All this was almost virgin land apart from the young and young at heart like me who still want to be in natural rugged places like this. As it was my turn to lecture him back for how untrustworthy he thinks I am and how he has problems trusting others, to how I do my research, to how safe I am and to all the destinations we explore, he was saved half way by the nature which just drew us right in and took us by surprise.
Standing out of nowhere the bridge located on the mouth of the river Adyar lying broken but in all its beauty with green ivy covering the river in a carpet adjacent to blues and browns of the Coromandel Coast and sand stretching as far as the eye can see. One could see the skyline of Adyar and behind it stood the wall of Theosophical garden, the thick trees peeping from inside. What a pretty place to be.
As soon as we started exploring and taking in the beauty, the quiet of the nature, the music of the sea, the expanse of the bridge and the orange sky watching. I just closed my eyes as I took all of it in, I heard a siren going off somewhere, banter and many things. The siren instead of going dim was getting louder by the minute and then at its full volume it stopped right where I was standing. The cops were there to take a look and empty the place out. I understand all that if only they could stop that crazy ear piercing noise, they did not and thus it was the end of our beach bridge time.

Well I must have forgotten or skipped mentioning to hubby dear that this place is out of bounds after dark, it is one of the haunted places in Chennai. Well honestly I did tell him it is hauntingly beautiful. Oh, that's just us. All's well that ends well.
We didn't get the sunset completely but we got us together in this beautiful setting at the golden hour.
 Bickering, trusting exploring life, love and travel together now that is our story forever.
After all beautiful moments with beautiful people make beautiful memories for a beautiful life. 
and it was a beautiful date.

xoxo
Bhakti Khade Rangoonwala

Read all about the Broken Bridge here
Check out our trip in the video below

The Circle Of Life

As a child and well into my young adulthood I was scared of death, of funerals and then life happened, I grew up.
I realized that Death is nothing but the calculation of life, the finality, the total sum, the finale.
I ponder as I attended my grandmother's funeral, her death bringing everyone closer, everyone having each others back in the toughest time of life. The crowd that gathered for the departed soul, to celebrate the love for the person, to celebrate the life that's no more. I stood there missing her love yet still feeling it all around me in the memories that I will always behold. I stood there watching others some of whom I had never met and yet felt connected with her stories they told. I stood there watching people shed tears, I saw the smiles suddenly appear on some loving deed of her someone shared. As people comforted each other, offered their respect to the departed one, we stood together till the time the burden of grief was bearable enough, we stood together sharing the love and together we stood for her.
As you grow older you tend to see and understand death more, another funeral in the family reconfirmed my belief. Here we were again another set of people yet bonded by one, for one.
Yet again I wondered this circle of life doesn't measure the years you lived but how you lived in the years you had.
The circle of life it starts as soon as a life is created, the amount of love that goes on, that everyone feels, cherishes, nurtures, which doubles up on the birth of a new life, the celebration of a new life coming to this world. Adding so much joy, love and togetherness to the lives of people connected by these loving bonds. The feeling is so pure so raw and so happy. The togetherness of people that a new life brings into this world.
We often talk about this but we fail to appreciate death, to even celebrate it for its in this toughest time yet again another major milestone which brings people together. All those whom we have touched in our lifetime in some way directly or indirectly, all those in whose life we make a difference by our deeds. All those whom we give a bit or loads of love, those who are bonded to us by feelings and not just birth or relations. And for those who have separated and lost in the harshness of life, they too find their way back to the tribe, to celebrate once again to the life that was, is and will be. Life and Death so different yet what they do is so similar, bring people closer, to love, to cherish, to hold - whats most important - the togetherness and these bonds.
And just like that I wonder about the most important circle of life that starts with love and ends on love.
Birth or death, they don't differentiate they just bring everyone closer everyone together. It makes me realize, to think - that's what is the most important thing, that's what life/death teaches us - Love, togetherness - the most important aspects of living. To love is to live to die to breathe. That's what we tend to forget the most while making a living, we just exist. The highest purpose of life on earth is to get people together, to love, to spread love, to be loved to give love.
So why not, in our daily grind just love a bit more, smile a bit more, bring people together a bit more, live a bit more and leave behind a bit more of us in other people.
The love we give to go around when we are long gone. Let that remain in this world long after we become mud, the love that we gave, the smile we smiled on someones lips, the happy laughter in the crowd somewhere for the joke we cracked, the warmth of the hugs we shared so freely let them linger even after we are gone.
We have a grand entry and exit which both mark us in this world. We don't control the entry but let the exit be a Grandeur. Let people enjoy and celebrate our life as a Box Office Bumper Hit.

Let us live longer in the richer memories, I can compromise a bit on my worldly possessions but not in your heart.
Let me celebrate life and death like never before, one day it will be my turn and I would want mine to be the grandest celebration of them all.
Let me live before dying and let me keep living after death in your heart. 

Bhakti Khade Rangoonwala 

My First Scuba Dive Ever - Dying To Try Or Trying to Die

The love of adventure, for doing things never done keeps me visiting my deepest fears and strengths I never knew I possessed in the pits of my stomach. 

So right from Bungee Jumping from a decent height of 45 Mt's, going on India's longest flying fox 1250 ft., going on some deranged water activities in Konkan to some other stuff, your girl has braved it guys and believe me I was crazy scared before every one of them. 

I feel a year older should also mean a new thing accomplished or learnt, tried or in my case many a times torturing myself to the finish line. Why ? because Why not ? 

Life is short, there is so much to learn and experience, so little time and to top it all Dar ke aage Jeet hoti hai my friend - filmy enough.

So here I am in that same phase again. This year what will it be .. Que será, será
Whatever will be, will be .. the future's not ours to see.. So I just let it be.

We have been meaning to go scuba diving since a long time ( sky diving, bike riding to Ladakh and many other crazy things) , so on our Bali trip the first thing I arranged was for our very first dive. 

Hubby dear oblivious to the growing rumbling in my tummy and sweaty hands and feet literally (not just Bali heat you see) shared his excitement on every passing minute of how he was dying to try it and I was dying inside every minute as it got closer not to try it.

My fear of deep water was resurfacing and my head was just swinging side to side bobbing away in sheer nothingness while hubby thought I was responding to him. As we got in the pool for our training, that was the first time I flipped under the hand of the trainer as fear reared its ugly head as soon as I went under water. Hubby completed his training in one go as smoothly as a shark cutting through water and looked effortlessly handsome and calm if I may add.

On the other hand I struggled just like a fish without water (jal bin machli) exactly the same way if you can picturise only difference being I was in water (definitelynot a pretty sight). Finally somehow the trainer gave us a go ahead was it out of sheer boredom of me being in water with him doing my whole jal bin machli thing. Anyhow as we embarked on the boat which was taking us to the diving site with our fellow divers who were really young honeymooning couples hung up on love. I asked them was it their first time, did they know swimming, their answers satisfied me - they didn't know swimming and it was their first time - all just like me. However they appeared cool as a cucumber in this increasing Bali heat. I thought to myself how young and oblivious to the world in foolish love they were, here was I dying on the inside too proud to say anything to my hubby now that was for love too (so now I should I say not so young still ever so foolishly in love) I didn't want to hassle him. In my head I still thought wait till these people get in the sea then I will have some company to my fear, now fear my friends doesn't do too great alone, it seeks company of others fear to console itself to feed on.  

Today wasn't my lucky day. Nil company for my fear and me, no luck. 

What so happens, is often times when Fear is all alone which does happen in the darkest of times and then boom it multiplies, it flips on more in the loneliness, rears its ugly head even higher and before you know its a giant of the most gigantic magnitude - The Fear Monster. I was battling with this demon oblivious to the beautiful blue water and gorgeous sunny day and amazing instructors. Now as awesome as the trainers were the jerks chose me to go first. They tied crazy weight on me- hello this was never mentioned in the training, I could hardly balance myself or stand up straight in that bobbing boat and they tell me coolly to walk to the dive point of the boat. Now that my friends was the wobbliest walk in my entire life, no amount of tequila or Rum and coke ever devoured gave me that stance and people believe me when I say this that I have had my fair share, yet here I was doing my life's biggest no alcohol alcoholic dance with a fearful trance. Does that even make sense, oh well it never made any sense to me that time too.

I was gonna fall down any minute, as I sat on the edge waiting for my dive with all the equipment safely attached, they told me to let go off myself with my back to the water, at this point I was freaking out, I just couldn't let go, I held on more tightly till my knuckles turned white, my heart was racing, I could feel my pulse and with all that weight my sweaty hands were giving in and I was loosing my grip. It was like I was falling to my death and I did fall in the cold water, forgot to breathe, forgot to do everything I was supposed to, I was frantic the trainer tried his best to calm me down, knock some sense into me at that point I felt like knocking him off and I am sure he felt like drowning me (crazy stupid scared girl). 

A little composure later I was fine just snorkeling there but whenever he tried to take me down below I would flip. I would do these crazy possessed woman gestures to go up and then after going up I would be like I want to get out. This happened a couple of times and then my trainer at the end of his wits was like what's your problem lady (I am so sure he wanted to toss a f#@$ing somewhere in the middle ). Yeah. 

The thing was he used to guide me down with light pressure on my head where as I used to get the feeling of he drowning me. To think of it he was just helping me and I was thinking he wants to cause me harm. Natural reflex isn't this the same thing in life, we can't trust easily. We don't trust someone who is helping us. Is that a societal thing today that is ingrained deeply in our mind - Not to let anyone in, be cautious of someone helping you, never to trust, too scared to ask or take help. huh. 

My trainer persisted, call it human tendency or his professionalism or just a good heart who wanted to genuinely help me experience something so beautiful to overcome my fear. 

He dragged me down again, this time I just gave into my fear, it was the same every time, me struggling, telling to go up, then they getting me down again and it just continued again and again. Eventually I got tired of the pattern, of the fear. Even before me the trainer did they stopped taking me up even if I signed I want to go up cause even they realized it were just mind games. So I had no choice I realized, so might as well look around, I gathered all my strength to calm down and started watching the sea life it was beautiful, so peaceful even though there was a storm raging inside me, the colourful fish, the ocean bed, the corals they had a calming effect. Beautiful ocean life as surreal as it gets.

I realized I was fine till I was left to myself I got hyper when they forced me to do anything or guide me. I saw those happy couples posing away, my hubby was somewhere scuba diving by himself since I had taken our trainer all to myself not letting him go. Well there were other trainers keeping an eye but generally he was happy to be on his own without some drama for a change. After some time we went upstairs and then my trainer spoke something in Balinese with the other guy and then he tells me we have to go down again as I have to take your photos. I love photos, you guys must be knowing that by now. I can take photos for hours. I am obsessed in the literal sense.

However I surprised myself when I replied to him - I don't want any photos just take me out and he goes like just some minutes madam - photo taking . And to my horror dragged me down again. My husband posed and lovingly looked at me and for the second time in my entire life (first time was our wedding reception, well that's another story- this would be the second time )I was like please get done with this will you in my mind. I couldn't speak right or else I would have screamt. I did enjoy it in bits when we were just swimming aimlessly looking at those creatures before we came out. After coming out in the sun I just wanted to kiss the boat floor and I literally did thanks to the weight attached to me. 

Sitting in the boat shell shocked smiling at my husband as the boat took us back to land.

After a cold shower to wash all that fear down, I actually realised what I had done and was laughing over all this over some chilled Bintangs and Nasi Goreng overlooking the sea whilst the breeze blew ever so gently as I narrated what hell broke loose over them to my hubby dear. 

First time after coming here I took the scene in, the blue water and the calming sea. Deep breathe. Well now from far especially when my ordeal was over the sea did look calming and enticing. In my defence not that I have to present one or owe one but still - I still went, scuba dived and I did enjoy well now I realise. It was amazing and the biggest thing was in spite of all this fear I did it. I am sure now that all this drama is out of the way my next dive wont be so what do you say troublesome (I am quite handful, but I do get there in the end, now that's the fun the journey and everything in between. I do wish every time to get over my phobia of the deep water. I am taking baby steps. Will reach their eventually. Who knows some day a padi certificate also may be.. life's too unpredictable and so am I now. 

Beach shorts                                  

top                                  

Dear Land, how I love you.

Check out my snorkeling video, let me know if you could spot how frozen scared I was.

Until I dive into our next adventure. 

xoxo

Bhakti 

🌸🧜‍♀️🏝

P.S We booked our scuba diving experience through Klook online. 
We went to the Bintang Beach Club for the same. Amazing experience and professional trainers. 
You can also directly book through them.
This is in no way a sponsored post, we have paid for everything, just sharing our experience. 
Tip - For snorkeling experience buy your snorkel set and take it for travels, falls out to be much cheaper and hygienic. You can snorkel anywhere in shallow sea too near your resort for free.


hippie explosion swimwear 

One Of My Mane(y) Stories

As I was posting my latest hair cut and colour today on Instagram another picture popped up in the memories of a year ago in another hair cut and colour. Amidst my morning rituals and chores, my haircuts kept popping in my head throughout the years like some yester year's baal baal dekho film and that my friends started an afternoon of obsessing over my hair, trying to rumage through my old pictures, posting them and my favourite hairstyle and stylists and so on. I love my hair, I really do, its funny to go to think about it cause while growing up I never had any hair by choice. Till grade 7 I sported a short boy cut not quite common in those days. It wasn't considered a social norm especially for a Maharashtrian girl. My teachers in school used to actually call me in private and enquire as to why my hair was so short, they used to point out, its as short as the boys if not more and I would happily reply "I like it that way".Then came a time where it was made compulsory to me to grow my hair to fit in some beauty box of societal norms and I had to succumb to the pressure unwillingly a child in 7th grade could only throw so many tantrums. So started my man(e)y grooming days. I grew my hair nice and long, I loved my hair and so did people all around. It gave me confidence and liked myself generally but yet the girl with short hair never did forget. Till date I love to maintain a short crop than a flowing mane. Years passed by, I never cut my hair really short but I always coloured them wild - all shades of blonds and blood reds, their was this rebel streak I would never leave. Then for my wedding I did something drastic I did go for blond highlights and cut them shorter a move just before your wedding which was considered bold and stupid but again that was me comfortable in my skin and comforting myself that my life and my choices were still within me, belonged to me. It was my way of coping with change or adjusting to a new lifestyle. I got quite a lot of fume and love both for my action but I rocked my ethnic bridal look in my bold blonde streak, my way. That I guess started this ritual of experimenting with my hair- so every birthday I do something very different with my hair. Its like a new me on every birthday. I am still that rebel because with ever haircut I do, I get a lot of flax my way but its like my hair, it will grow back, it will be fine. Its a different me but still me. Its like my haircut is in my hand like my life decisions is in my hand. There are so many women even today who are not even allowed to cut their hair their way. Its like even this tiniest of decision plays such a gender role in our society. There are still people I meet who say I have to take permission of my family before I do a haircut or I am not allowed to go short even if I want to. There are women who are judged on the length of the hair they sport or the colour they chose. The hair cut still decides what cut you make in the societal norms. I still wonder, and so does the little girl with short hair. 

On a lighter note to know more about each haircut and hairstylist check out my insta stories - highlights hair and if you do visit any of my hair stylist please do mention me.
You can follow me at my insta handle Bhakti_diaries

xoxo
Bhakti 

My First Night In Dhikala

I love wild life and Nature, so after visiting couple of national parks Jim Corbett was always the topmost on my list. India's oldest and most prestigious national park which was established in 1936 A.D. the first National park where Project Tiger was launched. This park derives its name from Jim Corbett the famous hunter who later turned nature conservationist.  Situated in the serene Nainital district of Uttaranchal, this jungle is like a holy grail for the wild life lovers all over the world. When we talk about Corbett then its Dhikala zone, is the ultimate cherry on the cake. The heart of the jungle or in the wild life lingo Core area for animal activity. The lifeline of this forest river Ramganga flows through this largest zone making it one of the most spectacular and magnificent area of the forest, rich with exotic flora, fauna and wild life. By now you must have got the gist of how mesmerised I am with this place and how very excited for a special wild vacation with the family (pun very much intended). So staying in Dhikala is a big thing because its one of the only core areas in the country which allows to stay right inside the jungle amidst all activities. It is definitely a special stay and with limited number of cottages you really need to book in advance and get lucky to be here. We certainly were. Dhikala forest lodge is run and administered by the forest department of Corbett National Park. One finds here a lot of forest officials, professionals, wild life enthusiasts, photographers, researchers with all their gear and its quite fascinating to watch them at work. The lodge is about 1 hour inside the forest gate and the drive is a safari in itself starting your crazy wild life adventure without any delay. The guest house is 100 years old built by the British. Though the property is basic in nature from some olden era with huge rooms having massive French windows and the highest of ceilings; its the entire experience which leaves one spell bound. Living amidst the jungle with dense foliage and animal cries and calls it definitely can't get more exciting and magical than this.

As I said the options and rooms are limited due to the high demand so we had no choice but to share the bed between three. Husband, brother and me. So after we explored the beautiful but spooky scary property what with the dense canopy of trees, monkeys lurking everywhere and more of jungle and animal noises for company than humans. The truly beautiful machan overlooking the valley - jungle below with its water body where you could see animals playing by it or just lapping up some water, bathing or gazing intently ( i wondered were they human watching us in return ). The never ending electric fence recently fixed to keep the elephants and animals out of the property which we were told again wasn't 100% effective (so much for some reassurance).The sky was eerie and we had some folk tales and jungle stories narrated with full enthusiasm during our hot simple veg meal in the restaurant. All excited for our safari early morning we decided to call it a day having travelled far and being really tired. So everyone bid farewell for the night and crashed to their rooms. To our dismay we three realized that the fan in our room with the highest of ceiling worked only on 1 speed ( the lowest ). The air was hardly circulated till the bed where we three lay cramped, squashed on the bed (in the peak summer season). After tossing and turning hubby decided to take things in his hands and opened the windows (mind you these were the big, massive big French windows ) it instantly became pleasant as gentle breeze filtered in through the mosquito nets. It was a little later after that when I was woken up by something else filtering in. The night had begun in the jungle it was vibrating and echoing with animal calls and activity. Elephant trumpets, Barking Deer, Tiger Roars, in live form as if they were there outside the room and they were actually there in the valley below may be some where around too. Now all those amazing stories at dinner - of tiger kills at the property, sightings, all of them started reverberating in my head. The property being right amidst the jungle so much so that non veg wasn't served due to animal presence and danger.  I started imagining a tiger outside the window or worst an angry elephant,  now the charm of the charming French window was diminished down to zero as I lay awake I cursed the ever so high, wide and open windows. Imagining what a flimsy mosquito net would do between me and a tiger or a leopard. After having laid awake for what seemed like eons scared as hell I looked at the two blissfully unaware sleeping forms by my side and not wanting to awaken them for the fear of being deemed as a coward throughout life; I gathered every ounce of courage and walked to the window, stood there for a couple of hell longest of minutes expecting some animal to leap in air at me or some eerie ghost to catch up with.  Scared out of my wits with my own thoughts I ran to the bed only to scamper back to the window to half shut it, as if that barrier was enough for those predators. Well that was only so much I could do and as I lay tossing and barely turning into the limited space I had and thinking about someone pouncing in through the window. Even the sound of the house lizard was magnified in the eerie space as if played on loop on a speaker and finally after some time I was lulled to sleep by the jungle sounds, beautiful yet scary. An hour or so into my well earned jungle sleep, the alarm rang in the wee hours of the morning. As I dragged my tired body to get ready for my first safari in Dhikala which I had waited  for a very very long time. In all excitement as I sat in the cold metal jeep sleep deprived, eyes tired, puffy and paining waiting for my safari adventure; only to have a blink and miss sighting of the first tiger of my life. Yes but that's another story now..

xoxo

Bhakti

Continued here