Family Circus, Drama And Politics

I have been absent from the blog a while now, haven’t written anything and suddenly I just got these random thoughts popping in my head and a strong urge to share them. You must have read the tittle and by now wondering what exactly is this, that too just before the year ends. 

Yes, this is my last post for 2019 and it isn’t rosy but real raw. Some lessons I learnt along the way. Brace yourself with some coffee because I am going on with full steam. 

It’s holiday season- ‘Tis the season to be jolly and merry but is it really or are some of us having a silent syndrome of family dynamics and feeling lonely. Let’s be honest family is anything but easy, they are the people who know us at our worst and best and they are the people with whom we are most vulnerable. 

So it’s safe to say that we all are in our own little family circus, with our own version of clowns, adventurers, eccentrics and other characters with unique characteristics. 

But quite often than not we forget to enjoy our own little private circus the way we enjoy the one we pay to see. 

After all Nobody likes their own drama, others drama is easier to watch and enjoy, but not many speak of our own, or even chose not to accept our own. No one really talks about this Family Shamily business, it’s always under wraps, portraying the best of behaviour and perfect family pictures for holidays and vacations for the spectators delight and owners pride. 

In today’s social world this exhibition is all the more prevalent of showcasing the prized family moments and perfect pictures captured. Nothing wrong with this, but it becomes easy for the person viewing or the one even posting it or portraying it to get entangled in this trap - a pressure to believe that family is supposed to be a particular way. 

More often than not we compare our lives to others pretty pictures and check ins, perfect family getaways and dinners and think what they have is better. To want a life which doesn’t belong to you, to crave for something which is picture perfect, to feel jealous, let down and often angry with our own self. To feel small and insignificant is another biproduct of today’s social age. 

The truth is far from what’s seen or in this case shown, the pictures we see - the portrayed reality is just one small part of everyone’s life. There is family drama in every house, there ought to be especially if so many characters live together, traits will clash sometimes or the other. Everyone has some family things which are painful, unhealthy, which people don’t share, which is considered taboo to do so. That’s another point I have learned in this year, if you don’t share the good or the bad with each other, how will you know, how will a person know he is good if you don’t tell them enough. Someone might feel less lonely or let down or insignificant if we share that yes we too experience similar things at one point or the other. Wouldn’t an open dialogue or just sharing that it’s normal to have family and its problems, it’s a package, it’s normal to get hurt till a certain extent. And it’s equally normal to maintain a distance to safeguard your sanity. You are not a failure, it’s not your fault. It’s ok also to feel low looking at others family. It’s ok, you don’t have to be guilty to have such feelings. It’s ok to feel the pain. It’s ok to let it go. You are not alone, life throws all of us curve balls at one point or the other. 

Perfection is overrated, flaws are beautiful, flaws are unique, they set us apart from others. That’s what makes us special. 

That’s what sets us apart. That’s what makes every family different. So why judge, why judge ourself, why judge our spouses, our parents, siblings our immediate relatives. They are the best we will ever have, we can’t go out and get another one of these from the market. So making peace with it in our own way shouldn’t it be our best foot forward? 

Instead of judging what if we enjoy the ride in our very own private circus with its unique traits and characters with a VIP seat, that too free ( if you don’t count paying in drama ) After all what family is complete without some drama, isn’t it ? 

If we stop looking with our rose tinted glasses cause even roses have thorns. 

This is what I learnt in this year, acceptance in all relationships, in family, in friendship. 

And it’s ok to feel it all, you needn’t be guilty for it or make others feel guilty for feeling it. Relationships are bliss they are meant to make you stronger, if we compare them with others life, we’ll rob ourself of the joy in the lifelong journey we need to take with these people. In the end these are some of the people who love us unconditionally right. 

Acceptance is the key to everything in this world. We need to learn to accept certain things, of the way people are and learn to live together with differences but happily. 

(Wish that applied to the current scenario in the country too - isn’t that similar too a bigger family, then why we differentiating on the basis of religion, aren’t all of us Indian) 

Another point I wanted to make before this year ends - 

Is why do we have to question or again judge people if they speak on some issue, why we take it for granted that if someone talks about a certain disease he must be having it. If someone talks about family, feelings - I am sure, must be going through a rough patch, someone doesn’t believe in CAB or differentiation on the grounds of religion - isn’t Indian enough, doesn’t have the brain to see the bigger picture. Why do we have this urge to hush every voice which is against the current? Why do we feel the need to brush our feelings under the carpet and suffer with our pain alone? Why this insecurity? Why can’t we be more vocal and accepted ? 

I just voiced my opinion, things I believed and learned in this year, things I wanted to talk about before the year ends. Things I wanted to put out in the world. 

Will I be judged? - yes mostly 

Was I sceptical to put this out for the fear of being judged ? Kind of 

Yet I am setting these thoughts free, someone, somewhere might need them this holiday season; someone somewhere will read, may be it will make a difference- a possibility. That’s enough for me today. 

Stay happy guys and make yourself happy  as someone very aptly said - in the end only when you are happy and only when you are contributing to humanity, can you provide happiness and can you contribute to others. 

On that Note wish you Happy Holidays !and A Very Happy New Year in advance. 

xoxo

Bhakti 

Mogra

This post is written for Smelly to Smiley Ambi Pur contest (Indiblogger).www.facebook.com/AmbiPurIndia

We often take little things for granted. Fail to observe the trivial things. But they are stored deep down somewhere. Every corner in the house we have been living and spending all our time is filled with memories. It is also filled with innumerable smells, and every smell or fragrance has a memory attached to it, some moments which are special or not so special; but yet which have a deep place in our heart. Some fragrances which unknowingly rekindle memories long forgotten.Smell and memory go hand in hand, they are stored together in the brain.
Consciously or sub consciously every smell or fragrance has some thing to say, some significant memory.
Today evening when I lit an incense stick which spread the aroma of Mogra flowers (Jasmine) everywhere in my home, I sat back relaxed and felt good instantly. I love this feeling. At the same instance the door bell rang, as if to disturb me from my serene state. Unwillingly I got up to open the door and see who was this intruder. It was one of my close friend and as soon as she came in and got a whiff of Mogra, she commented that I am obsessed with Mogra and should be a brand ambassador of it.
Well to tell the truth - My entire house smells of Mogra. You will find whiffs of Mogra incense in almost all my perfumes.
Almost all my air fresheners and fragrances have notes of Mogra.
"Why this attraction to Mogra?" she prodded me further.
Instead of answering her question I was lost in my memories. I was lost in my childhood. I was engulfed in a happy protected cocoon. For me Mogra means home, the eternal love, my parents, my childhood home, a treasure trove of memories.
I was introduced to this fragrance quite early in life, they say a baby can smell since the time he/she is in his/her mother's womb. So I guess that's how I was introduced.
Born and brought up in a Maharashtrian family where garlands made of Mogra adorn the hair of the ladies. They are the symbol of love.
My father on his way back home after work every evening used to get Garland of Mogra for my mother without fail. This was a ritual. The ritual of their love for each other. He giving it to her and she very lovingly sporting it on her hair with pride. Their love made everything so loving around them. The whole family chatted over cups of chai(tea) and pakodas(snacks), played games or went out for a stroll with the fragrance of Mogra lingering all around us. The fragrance of Mogra mixed with spices of the kitchen is what my mother smells like even today. For me this is the best fragrance ever in my life, the Fragrance of my mother, the fragrance of my childhood, of my parent's eternal love, of their presence, a happy childhood, comfort, peace, life, love. Even today my father gets Mogra garland for my mother and the ritual continues the difference is that I am not physically part of that childhood magic. I try to recreate that magic, their eternal love, their presence now at my own home with the Mogra smell and get lost in my own tranquil oasis of beautiful memories and also take inspiration to carve some of my own such memories along the way.
As if to shake me from my thoughts my friend asked me again " are you even here?"

I answered her as if answering my own question- Yes I am. and you are right I am obsessed, deeply in love and completely addicted to Mogra(with a wink and a smile). She was left as confused as ever.

xoxo

Bhakti

Rendezvous with Ramadan - Feast for Eyes-

A picture post on the Rendezvous with  Ramadan  in Pune....
Ramadan a holy fasting month of Islam and a true gastronomy delight for one and all.
The colors of this feast not only for the stomach but also for the eyes is enough to satiate even the heavens above.

Trying to capture these colors from my lens in my very own home city of Pune.

Enjoy the Ramadan Feast.

xoxo

Bhakti

Road Trip - A perfect Vacation

We all love to go on short road trips from the city we live in and it gives us sheer bliss but not many opt for long ones.
Believe you me they are pure form of travel and exhilaration. One needs to soak in the experience of a long road trip, its an adrenaline rush with excitement and anticipation unlimited. No wonder its my favorite form of vacation.
Its been quite a while since I went on a long road trip and have been missing the whole experience. Longing for a road trip crazily and hence reminiscing about the last road trip I enjoyed.
I have just been going through the snaps and missing the whole fun when I got a mail from Indi bloggers about this contest.
I took this as a sign from above and hence cant write about anything else.
So do bear with me.

December is a lovely time for vacations as the whole of countryside is brimming with beauty post monsoons.

It was time for our family vacation and thus hubby dearest, me along with my parents, siblings and uncle's family embarked on our journey.

Type of vacation - road trip - Wild life
Duration and time - Early December - 8 days
Route taken- Maharashtra- Gujarat - Rajasthan- Madhya Pradesh - Maharashtra
ie - Pune- Mumbai - Ahmedabad - Udaipur - Ranthambore- Sagar city - Jabalpur - Kanha -Pune
Distance covered -  approx. 3000kms
Hours travelled - approx. 55 hours
Vehicle- Innova  (excellent for long trips )
Do carry all the essential things and remember and follow the  road trip list (Here)
do not forget to equip your car with all the necessities and maintenance and a trustworthy air freshener, my favorite being AmbiPur facebook.com/AmbiPurIndia

The roads were pretty good, barring a few towns till Ranthambore.
We left early morning from Pune to avoid city as well as Mumbai traffic.
The drive was scenic. I couldn't put away my camera as the landscape was so pretty and picturesque.
Being with the family, we all were very charged up for the whole vacation ahead.
Road trip is all about the journey and not the destination. We were excited about the destination but we were equally excited and enthusiastic as well as energetic about the journey.
Halting for yummy local cuisine at quaint Dhabas, refreshing ourselves with cups of tea and snacks.
Clicking pictures on random locales. Soaking in the countryside, greenery and the heavenly nature all around. Watching the landscape change and thus the way people live, dress and look. Playing games, singing songs at a loud pitch.
We were taking every pit of our journey the way it came.
We first halted at Ahmedabad for lunch which was sumptuous Gujarati cuisine, after that we halted at Udaipur and spent the night there.
We left early morning for Ranthambore and were driving as per our wish and will. After reaching Ranthambore at night, we stayed their for 2 days.
Ranthambore is a place from the bygone era as soon as you enter the forest you feel as if you are transferred to the past time of royal era. Everything about this place is majestic and beautiful. I loved the ruins all over the forest and the magnificent fort. The king of the jungle evaded us and thus we changed our route from our earlier Jaisalmer to impromptu nearby Kanha to spot the big cat.
After 2night of our royal stay we left for Kanha early morning, we halted at Sagar city in MP and next morning continued our journey. We made a pit stop at the beautiful Jabalpur by taking a small detour. Were we glad for that, as the beauty of Jabalpur left us completely spell bound. This is the same place where the entire song of Asoka ( raat ka nasha abhi) was filmed. A small boat ride with the unforgettable jovial guide, the frothy waterfall, beautiful sunset, small quaint market of marble artifacts.
We reached the final stop of our journey Kanha. Definitely a forest of every ones dreams and stories. As soon as one steps a foot in the forest you feel as if you have come alive in one of the chapters of Rudyard Kipling's book. Mesmerizing forest with its grandeur and larger than life appeal. Vast land stretching in front with animals grazing lazily. It seems the big yellow majestic cat wanted to meet us at some other place, some other time and evaded us here too.(huh)
We stayed here for 2 days and lazed around and enjoyed the nature which was unspoilt and pristine.
Started for Pune with a heavy heart, but a hope of another vacation another destination and yet another beautiful journey....

It is true that even long after a vacation the journey always remains alive in our memories forever. This journey left immortal prints in the form of beautiful landscapes, sumptuous feasts, royal escapades, the lively guide of Jabalpur, the evading big cat, spontaneous decisions, late night chatter and bonfires.
A Perfect Road Trip which will always remain so in my memory for eternity.

Here are some snapshots for your eyes only--

 

 

I have already started planning for my next perfect road trip, so keep tuned in and expect a detailed post about the same.

Till then Happy Vacationing!



xoxo
Bhakti