If eyes could speak .. they would speak of the free expanse of the blue sky they see.
If eyes could speak
They would tell you of the depth of the blue oceans they crave in to be ..
They would tell you about the gaze that follows a bird in flight into the sunset wild.
Of a stray leaf 🍂 flying from the tree to kiss the grass beneath..
They would talk about freedom and captivity ..
They would talk about nature and pretty sights they wish to see.
The longing of a gaze in exchange of one handshake, one hug, of smiling lips which make the heart beat skip.
Of adventures to find, to leave miles behind.
They would tell you of humanity and love of community and family all above.
If eyes could speak they would say a prayer for you and me.
And still .. If they could tell, they would tell you of the grateful heart who is happy and sound. #quarantinediaries .
Dance like no one is watching 💃
Easier said than done especially when everyone is watching.
All I can think is what others are thinking about me, about the judgements - most of us go through this and I guess that’s the crux of it all. The biggest fear.
What is fear, fear is nothing but a feeling of being afraid of us getting hurt in some way or the other. Every year I try to overcome at least one of my fear, get out of my comfort zone one step at a time.
(Check it out here)
I love dancing I always have at social gatherings, get togethers, parties, with family, friends but I always need a partner. Its funny but honestly I can't dance alone in front of a crowd or audience. I cannot face the stage alone.
As a child, I was shy, I wouldn't participate in any of the competitions which required me to be on stage alone. So I have been carrying that baggage of stage fright throughout my life, I never let go off that little girl who was happy in her comfort zone of familiarity. That's what most of us do, right?
I wouldn't be doing this if I wouldn't have taken that leap into the unknown out into the uncomfortable and unfamiliar.
The true fear here is not of the stage, it's of being judged, of failure, of messing it up.
Of all those eyes being on you and no one else, taking the onus of your own actions, no one to hide behind, no where to go, true scenario of fight or flight.
This year there was a family wedding and I had to take part in the celebrations, I wanted to wriggle out of this cause I was a nervous wreck not because of practise or anything but the sheer knowledge of facing my demons.
But I couldn't, I had promised, it was now or never.
The knowledge that I was doing this in front of my family and friends was comforting as well as It added more pressure - it was as if I had to prove a point, but there wasn't any point to be proved.
It was just in my head - my fear of being judged and yes eventually that made me freeze at the very beginning- oh yes I goofed up after all, right at the start !
That moment I remembered the Murphy's law - “whatever can go wrong will go wrong” and it so did. What did I have to lose now. I just tried to be calm and go with the flow and give my best shot, it wasn't easy though.
I went on and then I heard cheering from the audience that itself was so comforting and motivating because the audience doesn't want you to really fail in fact they want you to go on . And with a beating heart I went on.
I couldn't stop, I couldn't take a flight so I kept going. I kept looking st one person at a time cause believe me the sheer magnitude of the entire crowd is scary. So one at a time I went on with the audience as well as my steps and before I knew ( not really it seemed really long) the dance was over. I felt liberated and light and yet the feeling of what others thought and of being judged was at the back of my mind. It always is you know. I guess that is the root cause of most of our fears of us being trapped in our comfort zones, not taking that leap of faith.
So has my fear of stage gone? I don't know only time will tell. All I can say is that I took that first step, that leap and I will keep walking out of my comfort zone even if it is baby steps. I will keep moving ahead into the unfamiliar, discovering new unknown possibilities and experiences. It's gratifying, satisfying and really makes me happy to go on and keep learning keep growing. We grow fearless by walking into our fear, by facing it by being strong, not just by thinking about it but acting on it. So don't let this fear of what could happen let nothing happen. Get out of your comfort zone and keep growing from strength to strength.
Let me know if you went through the same ever. I keep going through it, even now when I shared it, I am insecure about being judged but that didn’t stop me from putting it out there from taking my leap out of my comfort zone. I am Facing my fears and letting others know that you are not alone, are you?
Check my dance finally in the video below 👇🏼▶️ At 2:00
Join me for a summer vacation at home with cocktail recipes and some dance in tow. Vacation in Quarantine and some Mojito to forget where you really are ;p
After all Every summer has a story to tell.. and the main plot being happiness cos in the end Summer is a state of mind.
So enjoy those summer vibes wherever you are 🌞
