Is it the Simple food, simpler times or the simplest love?

So I was craving this simple Curd Rice meal one of these days (quarantine life) and as I was making it, I was very happy from within. Curd Rice a most simple and humble preparation; an amalgamation of chilled Yoghurt/curd and soft boiled rice. Changing its avatars throughout the country according to region and taste with a bit of variation. 

Dahi Bhaat a local favorite in a Maharashtrian house hold, also goes by the name of Thayir Saddam in Tamil Nadu  - a must in every meal, to Doi Bhaat in Bengal, khatti kanki in Gujarat, Dahi pakhala in Odisha, Komal Saul in Assam and many more versions and names of curd rice throughout the country. 

What makes it special is the simplicity of chilled Dahi with soft rice and a few other ingredient which are easily found and give it a local taste and flavours which are unique and simplest to find, eat and digest. It’s healthy too, with it’s good bacteria, probiotic property and it’s also good for the immunity. 
No wonder this is a most comforting meal found all over India especially in Summers or hot places. 

But this Marathi mulgis heart belongs to the one cooked in Maharashtra in her mother’s kitchen. 

Dahi Bhaat always takes me back to the more simpler times literally. I am talking about the 90’s when life was a lot simpler less hassled, technology was just setting in and hadn’t taken over lives, social media was newspapers and Doordarshan if anything. Especially for a kid in Kg (as in kindergarten not kilograms)the simplest times you can say without a shred of worry and an ounce of stress ; one only being practising your alphabets in the cutest sing song manner there was. 

So well, in my kg we were allowed only sabzi chapati (bhaji poli ) i.e staple healthy food and one day was reserved for snacks in our tiffin. 

So apart from sabzi chapati we were also allowed curd rice once in a while. I wasn’t a big fan but call it peer pressure, change or just a kg tantrum; I wanted that in my tiffin. So after pestering my mom  for the same, now you may be wondering - what’s their to pester in that. Well I was an asthmatic child and Eating curd got me bouts of cough. So yes, you can imagine my mother’s state but being the sweetheart she always is with me and trying to make me happy (don’t be fooled, she is very strict when she has to) as always. She gave in. So next day I go to school all excited expecting my first ever curd rice in my tiffin. A small kindergartener who couldn’t contain her excitement for eating the most humble meal ever curd rice cos she never had one. So finally when I opened my tiffin and stared at it with the utmost love and began eating the lovely lemon coloured curd rice with so much enthusiasm. Well let’s decrease the enthusiasm over here not in quality but in quantity. You see I am a very slow eater now too so imagine me in kg. I had just barely taken two bites and was enjoying my very own creamy curd rice for the first time when the teacher took away my golden lemony creamy soft rice filled tiffin and gave me a packet of Parle G biscuits to eat. She distributed my golden treasure meal fit for a king amongst my classmates whereas I looked on with fury and confusion and misery and tears. To scared to ask why she did it, I grumpily hardly even touched the biscuits. As if that wasn’t enough she called my mother next day for a meeting. 

After going home and throwing a tiny tantrum and being pacified by mother with the utmost love, loads of play time and yummiest fare, I totally forgot the episode apart from the happy fact that the next day mumma would be picking me up from school after meeting my teacher. 

Decade or two later I find out. The reason behind the creamy lemony colour Dahi Bhaat in my tiffin in kg, the meeting and even decades later I find out the true depth of love in it all. 

Well you see, my mother stuck in dilemma of having an asthmatic child who wanted to eat Dahi Bhaat for the very first time and feel one with the class, peers and not being left out; she made Dahi Bhaat but with a concerned mother’s heart ; with a little Dahi and some varan (dal) to cut down on the potency of Dahi giving me a bout of cough. Rendering that creamy lemon colour to it. You see Dahi Bhaat is like Snow White, no wonder the teacher peeped in my tiffin all right. Well let me tell you it was a yummiest one at it, my classmates finished it in the fastest bit. 

So my mother was called for a meeting and a bit of scolding because dal was not allowed (weird no sometimes). 

So she took a scolding, took double tantrums from me, took all the trouble and in return she only gave me loads of love -isn’t it the simplest of love, all for me, all for my love. 

Yes my heart still yearns and will always yearn for that most comforting best creamy Lemon coloured Dahi Bhaat in the world with my mother’s love. So in this quarantine I don’t know whether I am craving for that simple yum comforting bowl of Dahi Bhaat which makes my heart sing or I am craving for my mother who’s heart sings for me and then I realise they both are one and the same thing. 

So today I sit and relish this simple food thinking about the simpler times and missing and basking at the same time in the simplest love. 

Dahi Bhaat Recipe  

xoxo 

Bhakti 

Best Gifts to gift yourself on your Birthday.

So Birthday is done, Birthday month is done, another year is done and another year of introspection is done. 
I feel quite productive, if I may say so myself (grinning cheekily).
As you guessed from the pic , I had an amazing birthday, I love gifts who doesn’t. 
Talking about gifts I used to invite more friends for my birthday party so I could get more gifts. The feeling of unwrapping pretty colorful presents to find a surprise waiting in there. Some good, some amazing, some OK and some disappointing but nevertheless all are always exciting. 
Honestly,  I use to be eager for my guests to leave so that I could get to my gifts, I still do so (now you know, so urge me to open my gift you always get me, so that I am not wanting you to head over for the door in my head). 

Birthdays always do that to me, I cherish them mine or others and I love that feeling of being special, being cherished. By gestures, love, kindness, gifts. Don’t forget the gifts, I won’t let you (laughing to myself). 

However, as you grow older you need to be are expected to be a bit more mature about your own Birthday. 

Now, that’s one thing about life, when you are a kid, your parents pamper you with gifts, additional love and attention, party with friends- home made Pav Bhaji, or Vadas, chips, pastries and you are made to feel like a star. But as your age increases  and your cuteness decreases along with that - the need to celebrate an individual or is it how they put it, the desire to celebrate your own birthday and all that attention no longer entices one. 

So what they really mean is after enticing you all those years with parties, gifts celebrations they want you to relinquish it all. After tasting self accolade and love the society wants you to give it all away for the bigger picture over here it’s actually you bigger in the picture... 

After years of being celebrated how does one go un - celebratory, if that even makes sense? Why am I supposed to go all monk from monster (monkey would be better) on my birthday ? No offence but I don’t want to be a Monk on my birthday. 

Now I didn’t know that celebrating oneself, my own life was supposed to be a bit immature. 

Well I love to celebrate myself, the day I came in this beautiful universe, the person I am, blessed and loved, I forgot lucky too. 

I am in my 30’s and I still love to celebrate my birthday, I am still far away from being a monk, birthday still entices me and the rate at which I am going, I am sure I would jolly well be enticed by the same even in my ripe old age. 

Celebrations do change, that I will give you. Cute and pretty gifts are always wonderful. 

In the long run though - Love, relationships, family, friendships will definitely hold your fort. 

I definitely love to gift myself more of these things below and then some more for birthday and for life. 

Indulge

Indulge the kid within you, do what you love, have what you love. Go for that big customized chocolate cake, surprise yourself. Have that bucket of fried chicken or cheese and champagne. Gift yourself a lovely candlelight dinner and plush night. 

In short sometimes you can have your cake, cut it and eat it too... 

Love 

Let love in your life, love yourself unconditionally and let others love you. No one can love you more than your own.  Love makes everything worthwhile, it adds meaning to life, to being. 

Cherish 

Cherish your family and loved ones, spend quality time with them, take breaks, go for holidays, talk, eat together, make amends, go that extra mile. It’s these moments, that you will cherish forever, these are the best gifts to give yourself. These are the people who will always matter the most. 

Let go

Let go, life is short; don’t be too hard on yourself. Let go of what you can’t change, what is poisonous, what is unhealthy, what doesn’t give you happiness, that which has served its purpose in your life. Let go off these toxic habits, things, feelings, relations and see yourself soaring higher, lighter, happier. 

(Don’t confuse yourself between cherishing and letting go, I ain’t contradicting myself. There are few things, people, relations which are beloved and which we give our all but which are toxic for our growth, we need to understand the difference. Make a choice for your growth and act on it, without guilt.) 

Let go off your Guilt 

Letting go of the guilt - that you are/were not good enough. You didn’t do your best. 
You tried- you failed- accept that and let go of the guilt weighing you down. 
Learn your lesson and move on. 

Change is the only constant 

Uncertainty is certain, so brave it on, you will surprise yourself with your capability. 

Keep changing, keep evolving, keep updating yourself in all walks of life - survival of the fittest you see. 

Health

And on that last note, being fit and healthy is akin to survival and a good life. To enjoy the pleasures, you need to sweat it out. Exercise, eat healthy, have a disciplined life in some sense. The fitter you are the more birthdays you will celebrate eating cake your way. 

Meditate 

Cleansing your mind is of utmost importance, mental health is as important as physical. You want to remember your party people and stay sane till your last birthday now, don’t you? 

Kindness 

Be kind to yourself first, be gentle on yourself. 
Don’t blame yourself for everything that goes wrong and don’t be too hard on yourself. 

Be kind to Others, help those in need - a loving gesture goes a long way. Kindness always comes back. 

Believe 

Believe in yourself. If you will then others will. 
Believe and you will do wonders. Believe in the universe, the greater force. Have hope and faith always. 

Attitude 

Have a right attitude cause it’s all about the attitude. 
The glass is half empty or full only you decide, the same way your life is beautiful or no only you decide. 
Look for good in everything and you will see it. 

Friends 

You need your chosen family, the crazy ones to make this ride worthwhile. To throw you that birthday party every year. The people who have your vibe, keep them close. They will always be there for you, they are your tribe.  

Enjoy your own company 

Enjoy your solitude, your own self. 

Get to know yourself, fall in love with yourself, romance yourself. The longest and most stable relationship you will ever have - you - invest in it totally. Invest in yourself. 

Read

Read a lot of books, weave a lot of stories in your mind. 
Books are your best friends, they will take you around in their world. 
They will enrich you like nothing ever will with their treasure troves. 

Podcasts are the new favorite books, not mine really though but as I said you should stay updated. 

Gift Experiences 

The trip you wanted to take, that class you wanted to join, the mountain you always wanted to scale. Do that.

Experiences make you feel better than materialistic pleasures. You will always cherish the memories. 

Learn 

Be a student of life forever. In whatever field, way, thing, experience you want - educate your self. 

Happiness 

Be happy. Happiness is not a destination, it’s the journey. So don't wait for it, make it happen. It’s work in progress, chose to be happy every day and see the joy it brings in life. #smallthingsbigsmiles 

Grateful 

Be grateful for yourself, this life, all that you have, all that you are. Celebrate it aka celebrate yourself- celebrate your  Birthday 🥳🎂🧁🎊🎁🎉 

—- point proved —-  laughing happily, as if I need a reason... 

No pressure but you better celebrate with me cause this one will leave old and with a grand big one. 

xoxo
Bhakti

Beach Picnic With A Traitor Tea, Tantrums And Toxic Beach Bums

I am a 90’s kid, I grew up not on gadgets all together barring the video games and computer games like Prince, age of empire and the likes which came later on. Oh and those hi tech toys we didn’t have so many of them. Childhood meant, playing naturally in the nature, going for picnics with family, reading the likes of Enid Blyton and the perfect picnics and adventures, improvised games. Fast food whipped up wholesomely from mummas kitchen. Childhood was a bliss. So no wonder I am big on nature and outings -Oh I love picnics, being in the natural elements and just enjoying them, feeling the raw emotions. Unfiltered joy, unfiltered surroundings. Of laying down a picnic mat, getting out the goodies and then just lazying around enjoying the bounty of nature. 

So I just did that on one of the weekend, headed to the nearby beach. 

This was my first beach picnic to be arranged on my own (batting the resort ones we all experience and set our standards high) now whenever I picture a beach picnic in my mind, it’s the most romantic set up, with beach umbrella, mat, some nibbles and perfect drinks. Taking leisurely dips in the sea and then lounging on the mat, looking at the sky above, hearing the waves crash, smelling the sea. Reading a book and the day just goes by .. sounds perfect, doesn’t it ? Perfect date, perfect picnic (told you high resort standards).

We being in Chennai, couldn’t do the dip or swim in the sea. Didn’t want to go too far after a tiring busy week. 

Neither could I take some fancy drinks nor could I be on the beach the entire day in the crazy sun and humid weather. 

So well equipped with all this knowledge I prepared myself with a small picnic basket - containing a cute colourful mat, hot thermos of tea (hubby’s drink of choice) some cookies, chips, water and other small paraphernalia and bingo we were ready to roll. A picnic at sun down sounded the best and practical given the weather conditions. 

We decided to head to a far off beach, less crowded and less known. 

All happy and satisfied with the pre picnic work we reached the sight and our first observation was aren’t the vendors increased in number at the entrance (there were just two stalls on bicycles run by home ladies). Were we right not only had the vendors increased the beach visitors had too, it was really crowded. Too late to turn back or go anywhere else.

We started walking towards a place which was a bit less crowded and settled there with our mat and laid down all the works. There were quite a few couples.

As soon as we settled, a family with a group of kids came and decided they wanted to be our neighbours, their picnic paraphernalia was fancier than ours as it had loads of sand toys and works. 

As we sat taking in the sea and the beach activities, the beach was dirtier owing to the crowd (when will people realise ) nevertheless beautiful and so peaceful. 

The peace part quickly shattered to pieces as we were still discussing it amongst ourself - a shrill scream which doubled and then went on in a full bout of tantrums on our right. 

A little time into their play and half built castles the kids had decided to wreck havoc on the serenity and others calm whilst their parents ignored them and continued with their own little banter happily or should I say calmly to the chagrin of others. 

As I was cribbing about the parents and their lack of enthusiasm of minding their kids to my hubby another group of localite gentlemen without any gentle demeanour or clothing sense parked themselves on our left a little distance further away. They ran in the sea as if their whole being was on fire and then crash landed in the massive waves. 

Such outrageous behaviour by these aged men who were sloshed and had boys with them fit to be their kids equally sloshed. 

I don’t understand how they insult them selves, their upbringing, their culture. Without even giving it a second thought that people who come their as guests or travellers take this behaviour as to be the mannerism and culture of that place. Due to such people who cause inconvenience to others and show lack of etiquette, the entire place gets bad named. This sad state exists in all pockets of our country which we need to be ashamed of and changed. Be it the hooligans or the uncaring parents. Don’t let your manners, lack of them or enjoyment disrupt others joy. We need to take this into consideration while having a good time in public places. 

One of the kids out of nowhere landed near this group of men and that was the time when the parents shouted for the girl finally. In her plight to run towards her parents she showered us with all the sand. 

Some romantic date - reminded me of a song- jaana tha Japan pahunch gaye Chin (had to visit Japan but we landed in China ) samajh gaye na.

Oh well, didn’t need another cue we got up as fast as we could, collected the neatly laid picnic and ran for our life further away. 

Found another spot next to an old couple which we deemed safe in all attributes and settled nicely. Oh, the comfort of the old (pun very much intended ).

Happily we gazed at the sea again and I decided it was time for some tea to relax and lay back after that experience. 

I poured in some tea and sat with my feet digging deep in the cool sand. 

Took a sip and well the tea was tasteless, yeah I made it, the same way as usual but god knew what went wrong. Alas, Tea - the traitor, it also decided to act funny in the literal words. Well I was not going to give up so easily. 

We just took a few sips and enjoyed the sea and each other’s company. 

That moment was perfect inspite of all imperfections - just gazing at the setting sunset and waves crashing, a cool wind caressing our face and hands intertwined leaving the tea and everything else aside. It was still a perfect romantic picnic. 

There were the crashing waves, the sky with its magical hues, the calming music of the sea, the soothing sand, us hand in hand, there were couples, families with children and elders, friends, there were dogs playing on the beach, few crows flying down to pick up some dead fish, crabs scuttling in their holes, a gentle breeze bringing with it the sea smells.

We just sat there taking it all in and our hearts joined in all this din. 

We didn’t get our sea swim but nevertheless how could we let go off playing in the waves and that’s what we did. 

I love to run away from the waves and then eventually one naughty wave catches up with me. The water lapping on the feet leaving foot prints behind for the waves again to erase it.. 

As the sun set and it got dark we packed our picnic with a joyous heart. 

Walking in the sand, hand in hand - happy hearts singing to the tune of some young romantic band... 

it’s not about perfect moments or romance it’s about finding love in all the moments, it’s about making the most of what you have. It’s all about romanticising the simple life. 

And just like that it was a perfect picnic .... 

Finding perfection in all the imperfections you have..

one snap does not tell the whole story of what goes behind, that’s what happens on social media these days. So don’t judge a picture on its face value. Don’t have the pressure of living big dreams and perfect bucket lists. Just go with the flow, life happens in the small moments .. Happiness is not a destination it’s this random journey through crazy sloshed gentlemen, tantrum throwing kids and old people ... you just need to hold on to each other, your sanity and find those moments in between and live them - that’s happiness ..

xoxo
Bhakti 

Starting The New Year With Acceptance

A bit late but nevertheless, I meant to post this in the first week, better late than never though. 

So as I bid Good Bye to 2019, in a quiet way with my family wanted to end the year on a good note and start the new year with a smile like everybody else. 

A good movie and then some lovely food was the laid back plan to bid farewell to 2019. 

I, myself wanted to watch a light, happy movie but my sister wanted to go for Mardani. 

Honestly till the time the movie started I was skeptical of not wanting to watch a serious movie. I wanted to end the previous one and start the new year on high spirits with a gay heart. Absolutely understandable, nothing wrong in it, right ? 

However, After watching the movie which is based on the true story in our country - a story of A rapist, about sick mentality, about the society we live in - A gruesome truth, a grotesque reality ; (An outstanding movie and performance by Rani Mukherjee, must watch)I was forced to think and the first thought that came to me was - we are just living in our bubble, our own happy bubble. Again nothing wrong in that; we need to protect ourself, our happiness.  But We also need on a larger scale to accept the fact, the scary truth, to accept reality, the society that we live in. Things will change only after we acknowledge that yes we do have a problem as a nation, as a society. We need to embrace this truth, this bitter poison which isn’t happy but which is reality in the new year. Because the first step towards change is only through acceptance. Only with acceptance can we strive to change what is wrong. We cannot overlook the reality under any pretext. We are entering 2020 with things to be proud of,  achievements, happiness on one hand and on the other we are entering another decade with some barbarian acts, heinous crimes, narrow mindset, inequality in all aspects, crumbling environment and we need to bring the change as a society. We need to raise our voice for humanity. 

Let’s burst the bubble, let’s face fear, let’s stand together and welcome this decade not only on a happy note but on the right note, with a right mindset. 

Happy New Year 2020 !

xoxo

Bhakti 

Family Circus, Drama And Politics

I have been absent from the blog a while now, haven’t written anything and suddenly I just got these random thoughts popping in my head and a strong urge to share them. You must have read the tittle and by now wondering what exactly is this, that too just before the year ends. 

Yes, this is my last post for 2019 and it isn’t rosy but real raw. Some lessons I learnt along the way. Brace yourself with some coffee because I am going on with full steam. 

It’s holiday season- ‘Tis the season to be jolly and merry but is it really or are some of us having a silent syndrome of family dynamics and feeling lonely. Let’s be honest family is anything but easy, they are the people who know us at our worst and best and they are the people with whom we are most vulnerable. 

So it’s safe to say that we all are in our own little family circus, with our own version of clowns, adventurers, eccentrics and other characters with unique characteristics. 

But quite often than not we forget to enjoy our own little private circus the way we enjoy the one we pay to see. 

After all Nobody likes their own drama, others drama is easier to watch and enjoy, but not many speak of our own, or even chose not to accept our own. No one really talks about this Family Shamily business, it’s always under wraps, portraying the best of behaviour and perfect family pictures for holidays and vacations for the spectators delight and owners pride. 

In today’s social world this exhibition is all the more prevalent of showcasing the prized family moments and perfect pictures captured. Nothing wrong with this, but it becomes easy for the person viewing or the one even posting it or portraying it to get entangled in this trap - a pressure to believe that family is supposed to be a particular way. 

More often than not we compare our lives to others pretty pictures and check ins, perfect family getaways and dinners and think what they have is better. To want a life which doesn’t belong to you, to crave for something which is picture perfect, to feel jealous, let down and often angry with our own self. To feel small and insignificant is another biproduct of today’s social age. 

The truth is far from what’s seen or in this case shown, the pictures we see - the portrayed reality is just one small part of everyone’s life. There is family drama in every house, there ought to be especially if so many characters live together, traits will clash sometimes or the other. Everyone has some family things which are painful, unhealthy, which people don’t share, which is considered taboo to do so. That’s another point I have learned in this year, if you don’t share the good or the bad with each other, how will you know, how will a person know he is good if you don’t tell them enough. Someone might feel less lonely or let down or insignificant if we share that yes we too experience similar things at one point or the other. Wouldn’t an open dialogue or just sharing that it’s normal to have family and its problems, it’s a package, it’s normal to get hurt till a certain extent. And it’s equally normal to maintain a distance to safeguard your sanity. You are not a failure, it’s not your fault. It’s ok also to feel low looking at others family. It’s ok, you don’t have to be guilty to have such feelings. It’s ok to feel the pain. It’s ok to let it go. You are not alone, life throws all of us curve balls at one point or the other. 

Perfection is overrated, flaws are beautiful, flaws are unique, they set us apart from others. That’s what makes us special. 

That’s what sets us apart. That’s what makes every family different. So why judge, why judge ourself, why judge our spouses, our parents, siblings our immediate relatives. They are the best we will ever have, we can’t go out and get another one of these from the market. So making peace with it in our own way shouldn’t it be our best foot forward? 

Instead of judging what if we enjoy the ride in our very own private circus with its unique traits and characters with a VIP seat, that too free ( if you don’t count paying in drama ) After all what family is complete without some drama, isn’t it ? 

If we stop looking with our rose tinted glasses cause even roses have thorns. 

This is what I learnt in this year, acceptance in all relationships, in family, in friendship. 

And it’s ok to feel it all, you needn’t be guilty for it or make others feel guilty for feeling it. Relationships are bliss they are meant to make you stronger, if we compare them with others life, we’ll rob ourself of the joy in the lifelong journey we need to take with these people. In the end these are some of the people who love us unconditionally right. 

Acceptance is the key to everything in this world. We need to learn to accept certain things, of the way people are and learn to live together with differences but happily. 

(Wish that applied to the current scenario in the country too - isn’t that similar too a bigger family, then why we differentiating on the basis of religion, aren’t all of us Indian) 

Another point I wanted to make before this year ends - 

Is why do we have to question or again judge people if they speak on some issue, why we take it for granted that if someone talks about a certain disease he must be having it. If someone talks about family, feelings - I am sure, must be going through a rough patch, someone doesn’t believe in CAB or differentiation on the grounds of religion - isn’t Indian enough, doesn’t have the brain to see the bigger picture. Why do we have this urge to hush every voice which is against the current? Why do we feel the need to brush our feelings under the carpet and suffer with our pain alone? Why this insecurity? Why can’t we be more vocal and accepted ? 

I just voiced my opinion, things I believed and learned in this year, things I wanted to talk about before the year ends. Things I wanted to put out in the world. 

Will I be judged? - yes mostly 

Was I sceptical to put this out for the fear of being judged ? Kind of 

Yet I am setting these thoughts free, someone, somewhere might need them this holiday season; someone somewhere will read, may be it will make a difference- a possibility. That’s enough for me today. 

Stay happy guys and make yourself happy  as someone very aptly said - in the end only when you are happy and only when you are contributing to humanity, can you provide happiness and can you contribute to others. 

On that Note wish you Happy Holidays !and A Very Happy New Year in advance. 

xoxo

Bhakti 

A Haunting Beautiful Date

As I researched and researched and scratched my brains to visit a place which was nearby yet far from the city chaos and traffic on the weekend. Well that's our thing, we like quaint places which are not crowded, throw in some nature and I am a happy bunny my friends.
I came across one that fit all the bills and ticked all the boxes right.
Now I have this thing for taking hubby on surprise dates, well I would like to believe that I am more of a romantic adventurous types in some aspects among both of us. To say the least I throw caution  to the wind and still have my carefree attitude whereas hubby how do I say is the more cautioned more grounded, practical, safe one, if that makes sense to you. He is the one who is the safety net i return to, the one who takes all the blows and hard hits and surprises whilst wondering what next is in store. I am thankful to God in so many ways and instances that he is, for God knows where we would be if it wasn't for his stickler ways once in a blue moon.
So I took him on a surprise date, after about an hours drive, we reached the Besant Nagar beach popularly known as the Elliots beach. From there on I started the Google map as there was a diversion. The path that we landed on or ended on was a bit dicey. Albeit, no proper roads, houses of local fisherman lined up in a row, no cars, very narrow path, kids playing without a worry, the ladies engrossed in their daily banter or just sitting outside their houses, boats parked after a day of some hard core work and no tell a tale sign of any visitors or other people.
It looked like a secluded and empty road leading to nothingness. A small fishing hamlet tucked away in the further most corner of the city.
With that view and us looking like an only car with another state number plate which believe me is not a welcome sign to any locals. We were the ones encroaching according to hubby and we shouldn't be there, either I had lost my way or like always I had thrown caution to the wind for too soon for an adventure to begin were the voices I heard in the car. That was not my voice however it sure did join the party for I started doubting myself was that really right and am I the irresponsible, irrevocably wild one in the car and was going to give up my chance to explore and be in nature. How my heart loves those two words unconditionally but sometimes you have to let it go for your own safety as well peace of mind, was this going to be one of those time when I gave in to settle for another cup of coffee in a pretty city cafe. I don't have anything against pretty little cafes I adore them but how can you compare them with a wild sunset waiting to be experienced and to bathe you in its golden light from head to toe all the way to your soul. When to my great relief a car was approaching in our direction from the other side and which didn't look like it belonged to a fisherman. I pointed it out excitedly to hubby without saying anything and trying to maintain my confidence and there he looked unconvinced still. Well, he is a tough nut to crack. What followed was a trail of vehicles, cars, couples, friends coming or in this case going from this place to the husband's dismay and my visible gay. A hesitant husband still not completely convinced started driving towards the destination.
As usual we were late due to the traffic, I wanted to take hubby for a sunset date here but thanks to his always questioning nature and arguing streak we wasted quite a lot of time on contemplating to take the road or no. But as soon as we took the road, it lead us to a series of surprises, of stone doors leading nowhere, of pretty stone benches located, bushes, sand beach on one side. All this was almost virgin land apart from the young and young at heart like me who still want to be in natural rugged places like this. As it was my turn to lecture him back for how untrustworthy he thinks I am and how he has problems trusting others, to how I do my research, to how safe I am and to all the destinations we explore, he was saved half way by the nature which just drew us right in and took us by surprise.
Standing out of nowhere the bridge located on the mouth of the river Adyar lying broken but in all its beauty with green ivy covering the river in a carpet adjacent to blues and browns of the Coromandel Coast and sand stretching as far as the eye can see. One could see the skyline of Adyar and behind it stood the wall of Theosophical garden, the thick trees peeping from inside. What a pretty place to be.
As soon as we started exploring and taking in the beauty, the quiet of the nature, the music of the sea, the expanse of the bridge and the orange sky watching. I just closed my eyes as I took all of it in, I heard a siren going off somewhere, banter and many things. The siren instead of going dim was getting louder by the minute and then at its full volume it stopped right where I was standing. The cops were there to take a look and empty the place out. I understand all that if only they could stop that crazy ear piercing noise, they did not and thus it was the end of our beach bridge time.

Well I must have forgotten or skipped mentioning to hubby dear that this place is out of bounds after dark, it is one of the haunted places in Chennai. Well honestly I did tell him it is hauntingly beautiful. Oh, that's just us. All's well that ends well.
We didn't get the sunset completely but we got us together in this beautiful setting at the golden hour.
 Bickering, trusting exploring life, love and travel together now that is our story forever.
After all beautiful moments with beautiful people make beautiful memories for a beautiful life. 
and it was a beautiful date.

xoxo
Bhakti Khade Rangoonwala

Read all about the Broken Bridge here
Check out our trip in the video below

The Circle Of Life

As a child and well into my young adulthood I was scared of death, of funerals and then life happened, I grew up.
I realized that Death is nothing but the calculation of life, the finality, the total sum, the finale.
I ponder as I attended my grandmother's funeral, her death bringing everyone closer, everyone having each others back in the toughest time of life. The crowd that gathered for the departed soul, to celebrate the love for the person, to celebrate the life that's no more. I stood there missing her love yet still feeling it all around me in the memories that I will always behold. I stood there watching others some of whom I had never met and yet felt connected with her stories they told. I stood there watching people shed tears, I saw the smiles suddenly appear on some loving deed of her someone shared. As people comforted each other, offered their respect to the departed one, we stood together till the time the burden of grief was bearable enough, we stood together sharing the love and together we stood for her.
As you grow older you tend to see and understand death more, another funeral in the family reconfirmed my belief. Here we were again another set of people yet bonded by one, for one.
Yet again I wondered this circle of life doesn't measure the years you lived but how you lived in the years you had.
The circle of life it starts as soon as a life is created, the amount of love that goes on, that everyone feels, cherishes, nurtures, which doubles up on the birth of a new life, the celebration of a new life coming to this world. Adding so much joy, love and togetherness to the lives of people connected by these loving bonds. The feeling is so pure so raw and so happy. The togetherness of people that a new life brings into this world.
We often talk about this but we fail to appreciate death, to even celebrate it for its in this toughest time yet again another major milestone which brings people together. All those whom we have touched in our lifetime in some way directly or indirectly, all those in whose life we make a difference by our deeds. All those whom we give a bit or loads of love, those who are bonded to us by feelings and not just birth or relations. And for those who have separated and lost in the harshness of life, they too find their way back to the tribe, to celebrate once again to the life that was, is and will be. Life and Death so different yet what they do is so similar, bring people closer, to love, to cherish, to hold - whats most important - the togetherness and these bonds.
And just like that I wonder about the most important circle of life that starts with love and ends on love.
Birth or death, they don't differentiate they just bring everyone closer everyone together. It makes me realize, to think - that's what is the most important thing, that's what life/death teaches us - Love, togetherness - the most important aspects of living. To love is to live to die to breathe. That's what we tend to forget the most while making a living, we just exist. The highest purpose of life on earth is to get people together, to love, to spread love, to be loved to give love.
So why not, in our daily grind just love a bit more, smile a bit more, bring people together a bit more, live a bit more and leave behind a bit more of us in other people.
The love we give to go around when we are long gone. Let that remain in this world long after we become mud, the love that we gave, the smile we smiled on someones lips, the happy laughter in the crowd somewhere for the joke we cracked, the warmth of the hugs we shared so freely let them linger even after we are gone.
We have a grand entry and exit which both mark us in this world. We don't control the entry but let the exit be a Grandeur. Let people enjoy and celebrate our life as a Box Office Bumper Hit.

Let us live longer in the richer memories, I can compromise a bit on my worldly possessions but not in your heart.
Let me celebrate life and death like never before, one day it will be my turn and I would want mine to be the grandest celebration of them all.
Let me live before dying and let me keep living after death in your heart. 

Bhakti Khade Rangoonwala 

My First Scuba Dive Ever - Dying To Try Or Trying to Die

The love of adventure, for doing things never done keeps me visiting my deepest fears and strengths I never knew I possessed in the pits of my stomach. 

So right from Bungee Jumping from a decent height of 45 Mt's, going on India's longest flying fox 1250 ft., going on some deranged water activities in Konkan to some other stuff, your girl has braved it guys and believe me I was crazy scared before every one of them. 

I feel a year older should also mean a new thing accomplished or learnt, tried or in my case many a times torturing myself to the finish line. Why ? because Why not ? 

Life is short, there is so much to learn and experience, so little time and to top it all Dar ke aage Jeet hoti hai my friend - filmy enough.

So here I am in that same phase again. This year what will it be .. Que será, será
Whatever will be, will be .. the future's not ours to see.. So I just let it be.

We have been meaning to go scuba diving since a long time ( sky diving, bike riding to Ladakh and many other crazy things) , so on our Bali trip the first thing I arranged was for our very first dive. 

Hubby dear oblivious to the growing rumbling in my tummy and sweaty hands and feet literally (not just Bali heat you see) shared his excitement on every passing minute of how he was dying to try it and I was dying inside every minute as it got closer not to try it.

My fear of deep water was resurfacing and my head was just swinging side to side bobbing away in sheer nothingness while hubby thought I was responding to him. As we got in the pool for our training, that was the first time I flipped under the hand of the trainer as fear reared its ugly head as soon as I went under water. Hubby completed his training in one go as smoothly as a shark cutting through water and looked effortlessly handsome and calm if I may add.

On the other hand I struggled just like a fish without water (jal bin machli) exactly the same way if you can picturise only difference being I was in water (definitelynot a pretty sight). Finally somehow the trainer gave us a go ahead was it out of sheer boredom of me being in water with him doing my whole jal bin machli thing. Anyhow as we embarked on the boat which was taking us to the diving site with our fellow divers who were really young honeymooning couples hung up on love. I asked them was it their first time, did they know swimming, their answers satisfied me - they didn't know swimming and it was their first time - all just like me. However they appeared cool as a cucumber in this increasing Bali heat. I thought to myself how young and oblivious to the world in foolish love they were, here was I dying on the inside too proud to say anything to my hubby now that was for love too (so now I should I say not so young still ever so foolishly in love) I didn't want to hassle him. In my head I still thought wait till these people get in the sea then I will have some company to my fear, now fear my friends doesn't do too great alone, it seeks company of others fear to console itself to feed on.  

Today wasn't my lucky day. Nil company for my fear and me, no luck. 

What so happens, is often times when Fear is all alone which does happen in the darkest of times and then boom it multiplies, it flips on more in the loneliness, rears its ugly head even higher and before you know its a giant of the most gigantic magnitude - The Fear Monster. I was battling with this demon oblivious to the beautiful blue water and gorgeous sunny day and amazing instructors. Now as awesome as the trainers were the jerks chose me to go first. They tied crazy weight on me- hello this was never mentioned in the training, I could hardly balance myself or stand up straight in that bobbing boat and they tell me coolly to walk to the dive point of the boat. Now that my friends was the wobbliest walk in my entire life, no amount of tequila or Rum and coke ever devoured gave me that stance and people believe me when I say this that I have had my fair share, yet here I was doing my life's biggest no alcohol alcoholic dance with a fearful trance. Does that even make sense, oh well it never made any sense to me that time too.

I was gonna fall down any minute, as I sat on the edge waiting for my dive with all the equipment safely attached, they told me to let go off myself with my back to the water, at this point I was freaking out, I just couldn't let go, I held on more tightly till my knuckles turned white, my heart was racing, I could feel my pulse and with all that weight my sweaty hands were giving in and I was loosing my grip. It was like I was falling to my death and I did fall in the cold water, forgot to breathe, forgot to do everything I was supposed to, I was frantic the trainer tried his best to calm me down, knock some sense into me at that point I felt like knocking him off and I am sure he felt like drowning me (crazy stupid scared girl). 

A little composure later I was fine just snorkeling there but whenever he tried to take me down below I would flip. I would do these crazy possessed woman gestures to go up and then after going up I would be like I want to get out. This happened a couple of times and then my trainer at the end of his wits was like what's your problem lady (I am so sure he wanted to toss a f#@$ing somewhere in the middle ). Yeah. 

The thing was he used to guide me down with light pressure on my head where as I used to get the feeling of he drowning me. To think of it he was just helping me and I was thinking he wants to cause me harm. Natural reflex isn't this the same thing in life, we can't trust easily. We don't trust someone who is helping us. Is that a societal thing today that is ingrained deeply in our mind - Not to let anyone in, be cautious of someone helping you, never to trust, too scared to ask or take help. huh. 

My trainer persisted, call it human tendency or his professionalism or just a good heart who wanted to genuinely help me experience something so beautiful to overcome my fear. 

He dragged me down again, this time I just gave into my fear, it was the same every time, me struggling, telling to go up, then they getting me down again and it just continued again and again. Eventually I got tired of the pattern, of the fear. Even before me the trainer did they stopped taking me up even if I signed I want to go up cause even they realized it were just mind games. So I had no choice I realized, so might as well look around, I gathered all my strength to calm down and started watching the sea life it was beautiful, so peaceful even though there was a storm raging inside me, the colourful fish, the ocean bed, the corals they had a calming effect. Beautiful ocean life as surreal as it gets.

I realized I was fine till I was left to myself I got hyper when they forced me to do anything or guide me. I saw those happy couples posing away, my hubby was somewhere scuba diving by himself since I had taken our trainer all to myself not letting him go. Well there were other trainers keeping an eye but generally he was happy to be on his own without some drama for a change. After some time we went upstairs and then my trainer spoke something in Balinese with the other guy and then he tells me we have to go down again as I have to take your photos. I love photos, you guys must be knowing that by now. I can take photos for hours. I am obsessed in the literal sense.

However I surprised myself when I replied to him - I don't want any photos just take me out and he goes like just some minutes madam - photo taking . And to my horror dragged me down again. My husband posed and lovingly looked at me and for the second time in my entire life (first time was our wedding reception, well that's another story- this would be the second time )I was like please get done with this will you in my mind. I couldn't speak right or else I would have screamt. I did enjoy it in bits when we were just swimming aimlessly looking at those creatures before we came out. After coming out in the sun I just wanted to kiss the boat floor and I literally did thanks to the weight attached to me. 

Sitting in the boat shell shocked smiling at my husband as the boat took us back to land.

After a cold shower to wash all that fear down, I actually realised what I had done and was laughing over all this over some chilled Bintangs and Nasi Goreng overlooking the sea whilst the breeze blew ever so gently as I narrated what hell broke loose over them to my hubby dear. 

First time after coming here I took the scene in, the blue water and the calming sea. Deep breathe. Well now from far especially when my ordeal was over the sea did look calming and enticing. In my defence not that I have to present one or owe one but still - I still went, scuba dived and I did enjoy well now I realise. It was amazing and the biggest thing was in spite of all this fear I did it. I am sure now that all this drama is out of the way my next dive wont be so what do you say troublesome (I am quite handful, but I do get there in the end, now that's the fun the journey and everything in between. I do wish every time to get over my phobia of the deep water. I am taking baby steps. Will reach their eventually. Who knows some day a padi certificate also may be.. life's too unpredictable and so am I now. 

Beach shorts                                  

top                                  

Dear Land, how I love you.

Check out my snorkeling video, let me know if you could spot how frozen scared I was.

Until I dive into our next adventure. 

xoxo

Bhakti 

🌸🧜‍♀️🏝

P.S We booked our scuba diving experience through Klook online. 
We went to the Bintang Beach Club for the same. Amazing experience and professional trainers. 
You can also directly book through them.
This is in no way a sponsored post, we have paid for everything, just sharing our experience. 
Tip - For snorkeling experience buy your snorkel set and take it for travels, falls out to be much cheaper and hygienic. You can snorkel anywhere in shallow sea too near your resort for free.


hippie explosion swimwear